1. Don't "return to normal" life. You know too much now.
2. Keep the commandments
a. Tithing
b. Others
3. What the brethren counsel be included in the last interview
a. Homecoming talk
b. Appearance
c. Continued study, prayer, temple attendance, etc.
d. Education
e. Marriage
4. How we c an determine if a mission helped a missionary? (from Elder Harold G. Hillam)
In five years:
a. Good education
i. Elders- so can get a job that will enable wife to remain at home with children.
ii. Sisters-so can help to support family if necessary.
b. Marry a worthy mate in the temple.
c. Have a valid temple recommend and use it often.
d. Have started a family (own or adopted).
e. Have a meaningful calling in the Church (requires you to be worthy and dependable).
I was pretty shocked when I read over this again. I thought it was interesting that they only mentioned specifically tithing under keep the commandments!
And determining whether the mission was good for a missionary within the five year time frame...I think they should extend that one since I know many that became disaffected after the five years. But what a small mold to confine people to. Sisters you should only get an education to help support the family if necessary since your main duty is to stay at home with kids...so if you want a career you're screwed. Or make sure you start some sort of family by five years...or else
Some interesting things. There were quite a few of these types of documents I ran into while cleaning them out. But this one was priceless! Hope you enjoy!
4 comments:
I think what bothers me is the focus on appearance. I've never been a big fan of the Calvinist attitude that seems so prevalent in the church: we'll know you're righteous by your righteous "appearance". It seems to reward people who know how to play the game, over people who are honestly trying to investigate their relationship with God.
I really disliked Hillam... Did he give you guys the "Are we on the same sheet of music?" talk?
My final mission interview looked pretty much exactly like this. I wonder if they all follow this pattern or if it stems from Hillam. The outline really seems to focus on molding "perfect" members.
If you read the a lot of the forums it really seems that the mission is often instrumental in leading people out of the church... It certainly helped push me out the door.
Ohhhh, I hate the whole notion that women are only supposed to get an education "just in case"! That attitude really screwed me over. I never got to think about what I wanted to be when I grew up because it was already chosen for me. How was I supposed to get excited about a career when I knew I was expected to sweep it all aside once a husband and kids showed up? How was I supposed to take my education seriously when it was "for emergency use only"? Blech. Mormons!
It has only been since leaving the church that I have realised what sort of pressure DH felt he was under to work to support the kids and I. He has talked a bit about it since leaving as well as how he had been taught many times that it would all be upon his head if his family 'fell away', sheesh!!! So, reading this pep talk and seeing the specific pointer about the men getting a job in which they can support their wife and kids as dependents was very interesting to me. I had no idea that this was spelt out to him so plainly just before coming home.
I also had no idea until recently how many missionaries go inactive/ex-mo within a few years of coming home. Now that I look back I remember 2 friends who pretty much came home and were done with Mormonism staright away. As you say, there seems to be something about a mission that can put people off. I know that one of the friends main struggles was that he felt so conflicted about teaching the law of tithing, especially to poor families. He wanted to just 'spread the good word' not ask for money!
I'm thinking that I'm glad I didn't spend 18 months of my life on mission. As for DH, he's the kind of person who makes the best of every situation, he would have had a good time regardless off pompous APs etc. He nearly got sent home once ...for watching movies I think, or maybe it was for going out of his area, I can't remember anymore but he did do those things (and more) so I know he had a great 2 years in New Zealand despite the religious crap.
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