Monday, January 3, 2011

2010 Wrap-up and Resolutions

Wow! 2010 was a huge year for me. Last year at this time I was still attempting to hold onto my religion and my belief in God. I had renewed my efforts for scripture study of the Bible and church attendance...a month later I found New Order Mormon and that one of my childhood friends no longer my last day of church attendance being in March when the Relief Society teacher brought out Mormon Doctrine as her teaching guide of the lesson on Adam and Eve...this just after I realized for the first time that Adam and Eve weren't even real people! That was it for me. I held on for that extra month or two for my friend LLG since he was biding his time as our 1st counselor in the bishopric until they split the ward. The Sunday of the split and his release was my last Sunday. It was only a matter of a few months before my belief in a personal god was shattered.

We did attend a couple of UU services. I don't think it's for us right now but I like their undogmatic and welcoming atmosphere and they have comparative religion courses for kids and teens and may opportunities for activities, etc, basically another community that we're now missing. So we're thinking of trying them again once our son gets a little order and can enjoy the classes and activities. I just want him to have something like that--where he can fit in with other kids who are like him.

I've also gained a ton of PostMormon friends that are here in Utah as well! A group of us ladies get together for lunches, our own book club, movies, etc! These wonderful ladies are the ones who introduced me to my first alcohol!!! I've enjoyed eggnog and spiced rum and vodka...same with some cider! Had my first drink with my husband at a restaurant...big steps!

It's just so freeing to be able to experience new ideas and people without fear. It's been a crazy year and absolutely life-changing year. It's also been one of the hardest years of my life. But I would never change it for anything!

This year I plan to continue my studies of Mormon church history, religious history, science, and anything else my brain can handle. I also will finish school, hopefully find a part-time job, learn more about alcohol and try some more! Try to raise my little boy to be open-minded and a critical thinker...he's still a bit young at 2 but I gotta start somewhere! I also want to be here for people who are going through what I've gone through and am still going through. Though, the one thing I'm not looking forward to is the confrontation with my in-laws once they find out we're out of Mormonism...I assume it'll come out some time this year...

One thing for sure is I want to make this year the best one yet! Happy 2011, everyone!


lifelongguy said...

Girl, I am so excited and happy for you - cause I feel the SAME WAY! It's been a crazy 2010 but I feel more optimism and confidence than ever before!

I did the in-law thing over new-years, and it went MUCH better than anticipated. Good luck to you on that.

See you at CALM Thursday?

The Faithful Dissident said...

Kaylana, thanks for the update post. I'm happy to hear that you're happy. :) 2010 was also a big year for me in many ways. The last time I went to church was in May after a heavy sacrament talk about gender roles, homosexuality, and polygamy by a member of the bishopric. Quite unusual, actually, but my shelf just sort of collapsed that day and I've felt quite a bit lighter ever since. I'm not active and not really believing anymore. My study and investigation of other religions this past year has perhaps turned me into some sort of post-Mormon universalist. I'm still a believer in something, but it leans more towards a deist than personal god.

Sometimes I still get a bit sad about "losing my religion," but overall I feel happier and less burdened than a year ago. I also feel more free to explore the divine outside of a Mormon context. I've been finding it particularly interesting to study Islam more in-depth and to find many parallels with Mormonism.

JZ randomfartings said...

I just found your blog and I'm glad I did. I'm following your same path out of Mormonism but you seem to have progressed far more than I have! It's a long, hard journey.